Mother's Day Eve

This is an unusual time. Ma is declining and the delusions are more real to her. She chased off a delusional intruder last week and insisted I change the locks, so on Thursday night I asked her for her key so I could change the lock. I then put it in an envelope and wrote on the envelope that it was a new key for the new lock. She just had to think that the door locks were changed to feel safe. Life has become a series of little white lies and outright fabrications to deal with delusional perceptions and Ma's insecurities. I seriously hope that her dementia isn't hereditary.

Ma's time is getting short and she is sleeping a lot. She is tormented by ghosts from her past in her sleep and the loss of her daughter in her waking hours. She has become so depressed that she isn't eating ice cream which is not a good sign. Here it is the eve of Mother's day and I am not even sure if she know what day it is. I have a card for her and tomorrow morning I'll get some fresh flowers. Her greatest accomplishment was her commitment to motherhood. She gave up her life for her kid's and, quite frankly, she deserves a better fate than waiting for the Grim Reaper in a delusional funk. A life of quiet desperation is a cruel end to a difficult life.