The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same.

Took a little inventory on Wednesday of items in the house in anticipation of going shopping. 6000 sheets of single ply TP and two 1/2 gallons of ice cream in the house. Friday morning, 1000 sheets of TP and no ice cream. How could anyone use that much TP and eat that much ice cream??????? I am always caught up short when I review how much TP Ma uses in any one week. Assuming the average old person goes to the necessary room 3 x a day and uses 30 sheets at any one "sitting", 5000 sheets, the amount of TP now gone and assumed used, Ma should have been good for at least 400 trips to the necessary room with a 500 sheet buffer. Yet, I had to hot foot it to the local store and get an additional 4000 sheets to hold her over until I get to the store. Thank God the store I do most of my shopping in has packages of 30,000 sheets or my life would consist of running to the store 3 times a week for the precious commodity.

Ma has a lot of physical problems in addition to dementia. High blood pressure, hardening of the arteries, diverticulitis, and COPD. She is not supposed to eat a lot of dairy. Ma loves ice cream, and if it makes her happy I will provide her with that treat regardless of what the Doctor's say. I wonder if ice cream has ever been sighted as a cause of death on a coroners report? I wonder if I can be arrested for elder abuse for getting Ma her "fix". I can see the headlines now "Shanty Eldercare" provider given 3 years for assault with butter pecan. Ma's eyes lit up and she jumped out of a chair to greet her supplier when I got home. She wasn't hungry but managed two trips to the freezer for dishes of ice cream. This is worse than raising kids, you can yell at your kids. You can yell at Ma too, but she won't hear you and she really doesn't care to hear you caution her about her precious frozen delight. I just keep an eye open for the police for when Ma blows me in.