Tea stains. Ma is oblivious to her surroundings and the protocol for preparation and disposal of her precious brew. My sister purchased a electric kettle for boiling water to insure Ma had the ability to steep 213 cups of tea daily, she has never used it. She puts the porcelain pot in the microwave with the tea bags in it insuring that the titillating tincture will stain the walls when it boils over. Just like when she used the now disconnected stove, she sets the timer, which she can't read or work, to about 9 hrs and 42 minutes and lets the brew boil uncovered till she remembers it is there or the unit shuts down. We are on our second microwave this year. When Ma needs a new caffeine fix she dumps the old into the porcelain wash sink side of the double bowl, If I am lucky, or over recently washed dishes if I am not. The sink is stained as are the cabinets, the dish caddy in the rinse sink, the floor, and the counter top. Once or twice a week I fill the sinks with hot water and Clorox, submerge the dish caddy, bleach the cabinets and floor, and rewash every cup and dish in the house. I have used more Clorox in the last 2 years than I did in the previous 52. How tea gets inside the cabinets on the door ridges is beyond me, but it happens. I have a vision of Ma doing some ritualistic tea dance when I am not around, where she purposefully pours tea on every surface so she can watch me clean. I have become her manservant, moving from surface to surface with a dishrag and Clorox, boy did I waste my college dollars.
We used to have 20 to 30 cups and mugs that were some color other than tea at one time. With breakage and permanently stained interiors we now have 0 cups and mugs that do not belong at some toxic waste dump. We have 7 current victims in waiting and 23 brave soldiers that have been entombed at the local dump because of falls from a higher level to a surface not conducive to soft landings. There are currently 4 cups of cold brew located around the house waiting for their opportunity to put Ma's manservant to work cleaning the rug, the floor or making their funeral arrangements.
For those of you who have read or believe the stories in the Catholic Bible I offer this picture of my final day on this plane. God is not even going to kill me, he is going to take me direct to my heavenly reward via Ascension, like Mother Mary and the Big J himself. I have more than atoned for the sins of my youth and for every gray hair I put on Ma's head.
