To Go Or Not To Go... That Is The Question.

I have commitments the next two weekends and I am having feelings of guilt about leaving Ma unsupervised that long. She has been really disoriented lately and has been skipping her medicines. It seems she starts to take them and gets distracted and forgets to come back for them. She really can't afford to do without her meds. More correctly, I really can't afford for her to be without her meds. When she isn't adequately medicated she gets more delusional. The invisible cat runs through the house, my sister's death becomes a bad dream, and she chat's freely with my deceased father. So helping her helps me. There is a level of detachment I have achieved when listening to Ma's ramblings that insures I won't go crazy myself. I just keep reminding myself that it isn't really purposeful, but after a while it gets frustrating and I need some disconnect time. So leave I will, hoping she doesn't wander or lock herself in the hall without her keys. I have asked family to check to be sure she takes her meds, I will lay out the medicine in envelopes for night and day and they will check to be sure the proper envelopes are empty at the proper times.